NASA started launching the liberal dying into space in one-way rockets after President Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson decided there was not enough earth left to bury all the dead. The remaining earth was saved for the racist too many who President Johnson did not want out in space, terrified of an alien invasion due to a UFO intercepting a racist soul before they passed, the aliens greeted by a hardy, I once dated an alien…

 

The idea being that liberals get launched into heaven’s dark abyss since they’re more willing to expand their horizons. They experience the wonders of the universe just before death, learn what it’s like to be lost and alone like a star millions of miles apart from anything else, burning with desire for something more. At a specified time within twenty-four hours of departing the Earth’s atmosphere, the liberals get euthanized. Someday aliens might find them, retrieve them, but more likely than not the liberals will remain part of an expanding cosmic mess, their perfectly preserved bodies littering the universe inside of pods frozen shut and millions of miles from wherever among infinity they abandoned their souls, while the racists remain on earth, food for the trees, a gift of rations to extend the life of our blessed rock.