top of page

Capitalism 'r' us

The warehouse burns and prayers are shipments: $15,000 for Google-brand angel wings, $20,000 for an iPhone that can reunite your parents, $35,000 for the eHarmony soul mate plus mistress for life package, $50,000 to guarantee your love will last a lifetime, $75,000 for the Kindle Mind Reader, $100,000 for the Amazon 100% satisfaction guarantee or your money back, $150,000 to breathe underwater courtesy of Uber Pool, $200,000 for the money back guarantee on that, $250,000 for your afterlife to broadcast on Hulu, $300,000 for your show to run without commercials, $375,000 to guarantee you last ten seasons, $400,000 to guarantee that at least something happens after that, $500,000 for Disney to make your dreams last forever, $750,000 for a General Motors vehicle capable of driving the highway to hell to heaven, $800,000 for a Verizon plan to call back down to Earth, $950,000 for heaven-approved health care provided by United Health, and $1,000,000 for a representative from BP to whisper you the secret of how to live forever, but hurry, this is a fire sale.

bottom of page